Lessons on love

February 11, 2007 (WLS) -- Some say finding the perfect match is not just a matter of luck, but also skill. And now help is available where few people would expect, a program paid for by the federal government.

It's back to school for these students, but this time the curriculum is reading, writing and relationships.

"I am going through my second divorce and obviously my choices that I've made have failed," said John Boucek, who's trying to find 'Ms. Right.'

"The dating scene isn't like it used to be when I was younger. It's harder when you're older," said Jennifer Haudold, who is also looking for love.

The five-week class called "How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk or Jerkette," is offered through the University of Illinois extension in Dupage County. It aims to teach singles how to find lasting love.

The first mission is to learn how to spot Mr. or Ms. Wrong.

"When we talk jerk or jerkette, it's not just the isolated poor behavior. It's the pattern of being inattentive to another person, self-centered, dishonest," said Barsley-Marra, a relationships education teacher.

The class is being offered as part of a federally funded relationships education series that also includes a high school component.

One day, local teachers were being trained in how to school teens about romantic love.

"The ultimate goal is to reduce the divorce rate," said Barbara Linek, county director of the University of Illinois extension. "If we can teach them to choose a good partner now and to develop healthy relationship skills now, then they will choose better people to marry and ultimately, hopefully stay in those marriages and provide a more stable family life for their children."

The high school course will last up to sixteen weeks and will also include lessons in money management. Funding comes through a grant from the federal government's Healthy Marriage Initiative.

"That allows us to basically offer services predominately to low-income to moderate income populations to offer free or a sliding scale," said Healthy Marriage Initiative Director Alicia La Hoz.

The grant will also fund a program called "Family Bridges." It offers couples counseling to unmarried parents in hopes of helping them succeed.

"Males tend not to listen very well so as far as that's concerned that's one of the things that I was taught and how to be a better communicator," said Timothy Cox, who is planning to marry soon.

Cox and Tisha Roberts, parents of two-month old Taylor, recently completed the eight-week course. After dating for more than five-years, they are now planning to marry later this month.

"A lot of differences had to be worked out," said Roberts. "We still had a lot of different issues and circumstances didn't allow us to go get married at that time. But now we just felt like if we're gonna be in it, let's do it. We both have Christ first and foremost and we both believe that is the right thing to do."

But for those still searching for that special someone, it's back to the basics of "learning" how to find the right match.

"I don't think I can afford to make more mistakes as far as relationships go," said Boucek. "I don't think I'm destined to be alone and that's why I'm here. I'm trying to make a more informed choice."

The federal grant will pay out $10 million over five years to cover the cost of these relationship courses. The next singles class starts March 1st in Oak brook. There are several on-going couples classes throughout the city and suburbs.

For more information:

UNVIVERSITYOF ILLINOIS EXTENSION
www.extension.uiuc.edu/dupage

MEIER CLINICS- FAMILY BRIDGES
1-877-41BRIDGE
familybridgeschicago.com

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH & HUMAN SERVICES- ADMINISTRATION FOR CHILDREN & FAMILIES
www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/region5/index.html

ARUSI NETWORK- AFRICAN-AMERICAN MARRIAGES
http://www.chicagolandmarriage.org/arusi/

CHICAGO ALLIANCE FOR LATINO MARRIAGES
www.chicagoalma.com

RELATIONSHIP SKILLS FOR TEENS- THE DIBBLE FUND
http://www.dibblefund.org

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