• Man pleads to be pulled from river
• Alaska man runs onto frozen lake to avoid jail
• Birth of anteater has zoo staff puzzled
• Chef set to feast on cicadas during invasion
• Chief chided for using fire truck as prom limo
• Deer smashes bus windshield, takes short ride
• Coin tossing breaks tie in Philippine mayoral race
• Woman spots stolen car in drive-thru
• Now that's a crab spread
• Riding, then driving under the influence
• Anyone missing an emu?
• A different type of catwalk drama
• Not a smart way to kick the habit
• Ice from lake pushed ashore to doorsteps
• No profanity on rapper's headstone
• Smokejumpers skydive into illegal pot garden
• 9 may miss prom over no chickenpox vaccine
• What would you do with a firehouse?
• One too many returns
• Judges get their own license plates
• Scratch-and-sniff cards prompt natural gas scare
• No more flying lanterns
• This ATM was well built
• She's flying high and blind
• When remodeling goes very, very wrong
• Bears night on the town
• Best way to catch a mosquito
• 9-inch copter lands in arms of court statue
• Washington school closes because of nice weather
• Shiny dog bowl sparks house fire
• Cops release video of couple swiping tiny pup
• Calif. school blunder: All dressed up but no prom
• Man tries to blame DUI on grandma
• Charges held in deer shooting from Wal-Mart lot
• Pink Floyd poser arrested for theft by swindle
• Moose leads to marijuana
• Jedi weapon closes bus tunnel
• Thief in Spider-Man garb snatches $6k
• Ye olde apple trees
• Just two more seconds
• Lost while hunting for mushrooms
• Cartel-linked man arrested on dance floor
• Department's concrete police pig back in pink
• Well-groomed man sought in Rogaine, pill thefts
• Therapy dogs help students with test stress
• Stolen school bus found, perp not
• 'Zombies' invade University of Michigan campus
• Pup named Huckleberry crowned 'Beautiful Bulldog'
• Man reunited with bird he lost in a divorce
• Stolen school bus found, perp not
• Prom comes to a hospital
• Wildlife santuary holds baby shower
• No jogging here please
• Tiger halts all bathroom breaks
• Man's bad idea results in crash
• Turning old fur into teddy bears
• Elephant celebrates 51st birthday
• Swallowed ring recovered by police
• Judge holds self in contempt for his smartphone
• Woman cited for calling 911 seeking divorce
• Man steals $11K from friend's home
• Woman fighting $100,000 parking fine
• Court screeners find pet duck in bag
• Pa. juvey escapee stole some Cheetos, police say
• Wrong turn leads Germans from home town to Austria
• Thirsty burglars left telltale juice carton
• Circus elephant shot in drive-by shooting
• The dog ate my money
• Man calls 911, reports he's driving drunk
• Elvis has left the patrol car
• The free ride is over
• Hanging up on payphones
• A fast food joint in the joint
• Goat that walked into bar was taken from zoo
• NYC 'zombie' finds Long Island cat in Times Square
• Museum finds missing tortoise in elevator
• All 18 taxis in NH's largest city pulled off road
• Weather, repairs have kept I-81 unlined
• Sheriff nicknamed 'Duke' to stay on ballot
• Finnish hotel seeks professional guest for 35 days
• Bipartisan helper costs man local Pa. ballot spot
• Lululemon: Downward dog not required for returns
• Charges: Pa. man bagged in deer Wal-Mart lot
• Dog puts car into drive, injures central Pa. man
• Goblin-proof chicken book wins odd-title prize
• Sheriff candidates duke it out over name
• No special treatment for jailed county exec
• Thief returns $800 from 1980s burglary
• Speeding dad ignores police with baby coming
• Former NBA star has new job as crossing guard
• Whistle-averse woman parks on tracks
• Riders report New Jersey bus filled with roaches
• City pulls name of new mayor from basket draw
• Burglar tracked by pickax bar code
• Hotel maid takes 13 pills from Room 13
• Pa. borough renovations silence Perry Como statue
• Silicone fingers fool punch-in clock
• Book returned to library 69 years late
• Company rewards workers with Beer Cart Friday
• Fat cat slims down, adopted by vet