Parenting: What About Me?
July 28, 2011 (WPVI) -- Other people often ask in wonder about what time I get up and how I make life work. I smile and give pat answers, like, "You do what you have to do! Childcare is expensive!" But while they give me credit, I often give myself a hard time. It never feels as if I have enough time.
Magazines stack on the coffee table. I just finished cleaning emails from two years ago out of my inbox. I often find myself up, way too late, watching back episodes on the DVR.
And then there's the "Should Have Done" list. Shouldn't the basement and hall closet be organized by now? Why are the baby pictures, let alone wedding pictures, unorganized? Shouldn't I have written a few short stories or come up with a book idea by now?
Sometimes it takes outsiders to gently nudge me back to reality. Last week I interviewed Gilles Paquet-Brenner, the director of "Sarah's Key" and father of a toddler daughter. He adapts books himself, including an upcoming crime thriller based on a book by a former journalist I know. "You want to do this?" he says in his breezy French accent. "Yeah," I say guiltily about writing. "Ah no, not now. You do this. And you have a baby!" he says laughing.
My friend, Philadelphia author Lorene Cary, recently echoed that. Women are different than men, she soothed. There's a difference in what it means for life to come out of you, and need you to sustain it. Be kind to yourself.
And as most writers know, the only way to progress is diligence. You have to write. Everyday. Waiting on the muse to hit is a prescription for a book never written. But perhaps that diligence is something I need to first apply to myself, and that sphere of me time. Perhaps before I can commit to the pen, I need to find a way to make sure that 30 mins a day are not about errands, appointments or catch up, but enjoyment.
A quick browse through the websites shows I am not alone. Moms of young ones can barely keep their eyes open, let alone get a regular time for themselves, it seems. So how to do it?
Here are some of the best ideas I found:
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